1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a city bus. Don’t. It will not be beautiful. It will not be brave. It will be selfish. It will be broken. Your mother will cry.
2. Don’t write for him. Write for you. Write for others like you. Write so the girl that thinks about stepping in front of public transportation doesn’t. Don’t be selfish.
3. When you will yourself to sleep and it doesn’t come- get up. It doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. There will be other 3 am’s. Take a shower. Take two. Wash him out of your hair. Write a poem. Read the same book you’ve read 202 times again. The 203rd time might tell you something different. Don’t stay in bed- you will think about the bus again.
4. Don’t kiss him because he’s broken. Don’t kiss him because his laughter never reaches his eyes. Don’t try and fix him. Fix yourself first. Be selfish. He can’t save you.
5. Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.
6. Dress up and wear red lipstick and get drunk with your friends. They’re the ones that will pick you up. Don’t kiss him. Or him. Don’t fall asleep on strange couches with strange boys. When his hand slides up your dress walk away. Hit him. Don’t kiss him. He can’t save you.
7. Get another tattoo. Get five more. Get another hole in your ear. Don’t listen to your dad. You will still be able to get a job. Did you really want to be employed by someone like your father? Haven’t you had enough of judgmental old white men anyway? Get fuck you tattooed in tiny letters on your hip.
8. When you feel the yearning for a new city- start over. Take 200 bucks and a three suitcases. Work anywhere that will have you. Meet strange people and forget your name. Call yourself Ruby. No one will know the difference. Remember to call your mother. Don’t be selfish. Come home when you find yourself in the strangers and the small one bedroom apartment.
9. Don’t whisper evil things into your own ear. Other people are going to shout them at you. Be your own hero. Keep a sword on your key ring.
10. Don’t step in front of a city bus. It will not be beautiful. Live. Stay up all night with a boy that promises you everything and means it. Live. See shitty local bands with a friend. Wear a different band’s t-shirt. No one will care. Live. Have a baby girl with tiny fingers and tiny toes someday. Pour love into her until it’s overflowing. Live. Wake up. Staying in bed all day is not poetic.
Do you hear that? It’s me. It’s your life. Wake up.
“The city, by its very nature, provides what otherwise could be given only by traveling; namely, the strange. Familiarity, whether of chain stores or of cookie-cutter subdivisions, erodes the autonomous intelligence and, in a weird way, undermines privacy. In the suburbs, I’m the stranger; I feel exposed. Only in a crowded, diverse place like New York, surrounded by strangeness, do I come home to myself.”—Jonathan Franzen, How to Be Alone (via jessicachu)
JESSE EISENBERG:People on the street say mean things to me.
JESSE EISENBERG:I get called Napoleon Dynamite because I have curly hair. I live in New York City and I ride a bicycle. I always bike down 9th Avenue and there’s this kid who goes to school there named Abraham. Every time I pass him, he calls me Napoleon Dynamite. He screams it out and his friends laugh. That was a fine movie but I wasn’t in it.
INTERVIEWER:What do you say back?
JESSE EISENBERG:I say, “Please Abraham, I’m not that man.”
so i saw aaron tveit (enjolras from the les mis movie) in hairspray on broadway a long time ago and it was during my tom boy phase and I waited outside the stage door and i was wearing a hat and when he got to me, he said “hey little dude” and i looked up and he just goes “not a dude”
“I wasn’t sure yet that I wanted to be an actor. I was planning to go to Boston College as an English major and maybe become a teacher, like both of my parents. But when I […] demanded attention I was reminded of things I already secretly knew about myself. I wasn’t shy, I liked to be looked at, and making people laugh released a certain kind of hot lava into my body that made me feel like a queen.”—Amy Poehler (via jessicachu)
You don’t have to get a job that makes others feel comfortable about what they perceive as your success. You don’t have to explain what you plan to do with your life. You don’t have to justify your education by demonstrating its financial rewards. You don’t have to maintain an impeccable credit score.
You have to pay your own electric bill. You have to be kind. You have to find people who love you truly and love them back with the same truth. But that’s all.
1. Looking across the tracks of the subway and seeing someone in the window of the opposite train, someone who is reading the perfect book and who wears that familiar combination of tired and hopeful on their delicate features.
2. Stirring your coffee in a small, quiet café where the music is just soft enough to remind you that it is playing every so often when you look up from your notebook.
3. Exchanging a few jokes with a charming stranger stuck in the same endless, bureaucratic line as you, reminding you that you are not alone in your battle with everyday tedium.
4. Sitting on the beach with old friends whom you are visiting for a few weeks in the summer, when the weather is just hot enough to permit you to stay out all night and enjoy one another’s company in a way you were always too busy to do.
5. Reading old chats and messages and letters with people you used to love, and remembering what it is about them that was so wonderful.
6. Looking at pictures where you are smiling in that unflattering way you almost never allow yourself to do, but you couldn’t help it because you were surrounded by people who made you just that happy.
7. Kissing outside at night when you’ve had just enough to drink that your cheeks are tingling and you are afraid that the words “I love you” might fall out of your mouth all by themselves.
8. Hearing someone tell you something that they’ve never told anyone before, because they never felt like anyone would really listen and actually understand.
9. Seeing someone be kind when they think that no one is looking, because they know it is simply the right thing to do.
10. Finding out that an old love is getting married to someone who is so much more right for them that you could have ever been, and realizing that you can love someone and not ever want them for yourself again.
11. Sitting at a restaurant by yourself and getting so deeply lost in your book that you forget you are even alone, and you feel as though you are on a date with the world’s most interesting person.
12. Telling someone that you’re happy for them, and watching their whole face light up with well-earned pride when they realize that you actually mean it.
13. Waiting at the bus stop and seeing the most perfect person in the most perfect outfit who is looking at the map with just as little understanding as you once did when you were new in the city.
14. Realizing that someone who is so very beautiful does not imagine themselves to be anything special.
15. Hearing someone say “If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know” and knowing that you can ask them anything and they would do their best to follow through.
16. Visiting someone when they are sick and seeing the way their eyes light up at the soup and juice you brought them.
17. Sitting in the movie theater with someone and watching them laugh out of the corner of your eye when they think something is really, really funny. Watching their dimples and eye creases form and wishing they knew just how wonderful every little line on their face is.
18. Seeing someone at the gym who is having just as hard a time as you but is still going at it every day.
19. Reading something online that makes you cry, alone, at your computer, simply because it makes you feel — in a way you are rarely lucky enough to feel — that there are other people like you.
20. Running into an old friend at the store and letting it bleed into a long coffee where you talk about every subject that you didn’t even realize had been lying dormant inside of you for years, longing to be confirmed and expressed and understood.
21. Looking across the restaurant at the couple who is too happy to notice anyone around them, and realizing that sometimes we can get a contact high, a little burst of pure joy, just from seeing people who are that in love.